"Life Goes On" By Jenna Rose Lowthert

 Life Goes On

 

By Jenna Rose Lowthert - May 10th, 2015

 

Today sucks, I know. It’s going to be hard. But so is every other day since you have lost your mother. 

 

There is absolutely no love in this world like the love of a mother. There is a void that cannot and will not ever be filled, no matter what anybody tells you. You don’t miss her today any more than you will tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that. 

 

Today, Mother’s day, is just another painful reminder that she is no longer physically here. As you watch friend’s celebrate with their mom’s, please remember that yours is tucked away deep down in your heart where she will forever stay. 

 

As the wind blows through your hair, know that it is her gentle and loving touch. As the warmth of the sun shines on your face please remember the warmth in your mother’s heart through all of the days she had on this earth. She didn’t want to ever leave you and she still hasn’t left you. Your mother was greater than this world. 

 

I know sometimes life just doesn’t seem fair and it never will but please, please, don’t cry today, for your mother would want nothing more than to see you smile. I feel the pain within your heart as another day passes by without her. She doesn’t want you to be sad. 

She wants you to honor her life in the best way possible, and that way is to live it. Live it for you. Live it for her. I know it is sometimes easier said than done and sometimes words just don’t help and I know this because I lost my beautiful 48 year old mother almost two years ago when I was 24. 

 

I have come to find that the best way to heal is to remember. Remember her. Remember the sorrow, remember the love, remember everything. Talk to her, she’s always listening. And simply cherish the time you did have with her and the memories you have made. I want you to know that on this day, you are not alone. You are never alone. All of our mother’s are watching over us from heaven this Mother’s Day… and every day, for the rest of our lives. Happy Mother’s Day to all of the motherless daughters out there. Today is your day too. Celebrate her, start a new tradition, live life to the fullest, and most importantly remember that even through the darkest of days, life still goes on. -Jenna Rose Lowthert 

 

Jenna Rose Lowthert was inspired to write her book "Life Goes On.." after her mother passed away on May 27th, 2013 after a 10-month battle with stage four lung cancer. Her mom was only 48 years old, and her courage and strength was truly amazing. When her mom passed away Jenna’s world was crushed, but she found treasures she left behind that told a story of a mother's undying love for her children. Jenna wrote "Life Goes On...

http://www.amazon.com/Life-Goes-Jenna-Rose-Lowthert/dp/1499719949

Message From Grandmother On the Other Side

Message From Grandmother On the Other Side

January 1, 2014 at 2:45pm

*Some of my friends have seen this story before*....
As I just said to Jim today....  
"It's THEE BEST GOD WINK that I have ever had !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"



Let me explain about it... this happened in January of 2007. I  was a member of a paranormal web site.

One of our members had dropped off the site, you know how you have so much going on, and you just make choices about your time. 
Anyway, J emailed me saying....  "Deb, can I have an invite back on the site, I have a really interesting photograph to share, and have folks comment on".   J explained to me that he had been at a party and a friend named Jimmy was talking about a unique picture
someone took of him sleeping on the couch.    J had Jimmy email him a copy
of the picture, saying he would share it on this paranormal site in order to have feedback.   

J posted the picture and I will NEVER forget my first reaction....

It was like sitting in a WIND  TUNNEL  and having a turbo fan
switched on........     WOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was totally speechless and clueless to make a comment on the photograph itself. 

J had posted that Jimmy had lost his Grandmother less than a year ago, and he was having great difficulty in processing her loss.

THAT STRUCK ME.......  I emailed J and said.... could you send this message on to Jimmy.   I believe that I can help him with the loss of his Grandmother.    The message I sent Jimmy was of a poem.... Why Was She Here, by Marlee Maitlin.   I also wrote a few other
things to Jimmy.   
He emailed me back and said that he had chill bumps and was
so very moved by my words.   He felt a peace that he had not felt in a long time.
He asked if he could call me.... and I said SURE.    I missed his call, called him back and missed him, so he called me again.

When we did connect, he immediately said... 'You have no idea how comforting the message you sent me was'.   Jimmy then said, I know you are in Ohio, and I even know the city from the phone number. He said, my sister lives in that same city.   He then said, well she  lived in one house, but moved to another house in the same city.....

I SUCKED AIR for about a SECOND and said......... 

"Is your sister Patti and her (then) husband Paul"?    
He answered... 'YES'.

I then said................'Ohhhhh MY GOD, we bought our house from them'.

Several Ohhh MY GOD'S later from BOTH of us, WE KNEW that his Grandmother had a hand in  connecting us up.  
Jimmy's Grandmother is buried at a cemetery here in Ohio.    

Jimmy lives in Arizona.  I just mapquested that.....           
    Total Est. Distance: 1922.88 miles    
That is a WORLD away so to speak....   
What DO YOU think are the odds of this happening ?

AND...... it's been awhile since I spoke or emailed with Jimmy.  He called me on January 16th.   I told him that I would keep myself open to any messages I might have from his Grandmother.  The next day, I felt the overwhelming urge to go visit her grave.
The cemetery is about a 15 minute drive from my home.   My dear friend Antoinette's husband is also buried there.    I had the feeling once I was at Larry's grave, I would locate his Grandma's right away.
The whole cemetery story is one I will save for another day, but I will say when I was at Larry's grave, I could not locate Jimmy's Grandma's. I phoned him to see if he could lead me there.   He was SHOCKED that I was at the cemetery.    I did locate her grave with just a little help.

I really hesitated in sharing this story.    I talked with Jimmy about sharing it and had the GREEN light go ahead from him.   Then I thought.... maybe it's too personal to share.    I thought that was what a 'nudge' from his Grandmother.   But in the past few weeks as I have had this on my mind...   I knew that story was meant to be shared.   

As a validation in the power of the universe to work through people no matter what the space or distance.... even death.   Love never dies. 

After I was at the cemetery on January 17th, I got to wondering exactly when Jimmy and I first talked on the phone.    Going back through emails I realized his call came in exactly ONE YEAR to the DAY that we first spoke...   January 16th.   :)))))))))))))

I went to do a preview of this message before I actually posted it
and I heard......
"My dearest Jimmy I DO LOVE YOU" !!!!!!!!!

Why Was She Here?

 "When I faced the loss of my dear
Grandmother Rose, I asked the
question, 'Why was she here?' for I could
not comprehend a day without her
gentle smile and caring touch. The loss was
so painful. But as days and months passed, I
found that the pain I had felt began to
transform itself into something completely new.
The empty hole in my life was slowly
filled in with a warmth. As I lived again and
worked myself into a daily routine,
I began to understand that my successes
and achievements were her pats on the back,
her hugs when I was discouraged and her
stories of her dreams and hopes for her
children and grandchildren when I had none.

So, the question 'Why?' became clear,
I realized that my life was an extension of
hers. When there is a hole someplace in the
world, I believe a warmth eventually fills it.
When there is poverty, a richness of spirit
eventually comes to help.
I believe we are here for each other; to lift,
to encourage, to dream. Without that kind of giving,
we cease to exist. So, as Rose gave to me, I try to
give to others in my work, in my personal life,
in my charity. For me, that is why.
That is harmony."

Marlee Matlin Academy Award winning
actress for her part in
Children of a Lesser God

What We Wish Others Understood About The Loss Of Our Child

What We Wish Others Understood About The Loss Of Our Child


1. I wish you would not be afraid to speak my child's name. My child lived and was important, and I need to hear his name.


2. If I cry or get emotional if we talk about my child, I wish you knew that it isn't because you have hurt me; the fact that my child died has caused my tears. You have allowed me to cry, and I thank you. Crying and emotional outbursts are healing.


3. I wish you wouldn't "kill" my child again by removing from your home his pictures, artwork, or other remembrances.


4. I will have emotional highs and lows, ups and downs. I wish you wouldn't think that if I have a good day my grief is all over, or that if I have a bad day I need psychiatric counseling.


5. I wish you knew that the death of a child is different from other losses and must be viewed separately. It is the ultimate tragedy, and I wish you wouldn't compare it to your loss of a parent, a spouse, or a pet.


6. Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn't shy away from me.


7. I wish you knew that all of the "crazy" grief reactions that I am having are in fact very normal. Depression, anger, frustration, hopelessness, and the questioning of values and beliefs are to be expected following the death of a child.


8. I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over in six months. The first few years are going to be exceedingly traumatic for us. As with alcoholics, I will never be "cured" or a "former bereaved parent," but will forevermore "be a recovering bereaved parent."


9. I wish you understood the physical reactions to grief. I may gain weight or lose weight, sleep all the time or not at all, develop a host of illnesses, and be accident prone-all of which may be related to my grief.


10. Our child's birthday, the anniversary of his death, and holidays are terrible times for us. I wish you could tell us that you are thinking about our child on these days, and if we get quiet and withdraw, just know that we are thinking about our child and don't try to coerce us into being cheerful.


11. It is normal and good that most of us re-examine our faith, values, and beliefs after losing a child. We will question things we have been taught all our lives and hopefully come to some new understanding with our God. I wish you would let me tangle with my religion without making me feel guilty.


12. I wish you wouldn't offer me drinks or drugs. These are just temporary crutches and the only way I can get through this grief is to experience it. I have to hurt before I can heal.


13. I wish you understood that grief changes people. I am not the same person I was before my child died, and I never will be that person again. If you keep waiting for me to "get back to my old self," you will stay frustrated. I am a new creature with new thoughts, dreams, aspirations, values, and beliefs. Please try to get to know the new me-maybe you’ll like me still.


I believe that instead of sitting around and waiting for our wishes to come true, we have an obligation to tell people some of the things we have learned about our grief. We can teach these lessons with great kindness, believing that people have good intentions and want to do what is right, but just don't know what to do with us.



Source: This is taken from an article by Betty Baggott. She is a freelance writer and a member of the board of directors of The Alabama Baptist. She is the wife of Bob Baggott, pastor of First Baptist Church, Birmingham, AL.